Alright you little shoe pervs...I know some of you LOVE my stinky black flats and how cute they are. Today, you aren't even worthy of my goddess feet, you only get the dirty BOTTOM of my shoes! Kiss them, smell the little bits of dirt I've stepped in, and run your tongue along the soles--taste where I've stepped and pray to the soles of my flats while I ignore you and do more important things; like taking selfies of my beautiful face! (as a little reward, I pop my heel out at the end--releasing all the yummy foot smell!)