We've been together for how long now? UGH. Either way it's been WAY too long. So, surprise surprise! Your Valentines gift is this video of me breaking up with you! How exciting. I'm finally gonna go get laid by a real man who can make me orgasm! All while you sit at home, idk probably crying or something. I don't know why you'd be shocked, you definitely should've seen this coming. (at least something's coming, I know I never did)


Anyways, I'd better finish getting ready for my date. Oh, and one last thing, I'm taking your credit card! A little payback for all the disappoint...

We've been together for how long now? UGH. Either way it's been WAY too long. So, surprise surprise! Your Valentines gift is this video of me breaking up with you! How exciting. I'm finally gonna go get laid by a real man who can make me orgasm! All while you sit at home, idk probably crying or something. I don't know why you'd be shocked, you definitely should've seen this coming. (at least something's coming, I know I never did)


Anyways, I'd better finish getting ready for my date. Oh, and one last thing, I'm taking your credit card! A little payback for all the disappointing sex. Don't be sad. At least you have this video.