We're in a completely sexless marriage, and it's pretty damn clear who wears the pants in the relationship. You stroll into the room, looking for some help with your sexual tension, but you're NOT going to get it. Instead, all you get is me laughing in your face, telling you to jerk yourself off from your knees, and all the while I'm texting a stud from work! He sends me a photo of his huge, gorgeous cock, and I show you the photo so you know what I can get instead of EVER letting you touch me again! God, you're such a loser.