your wife is boring, and your marriage is even more boring. I bet everything else in your life would be boring if I weren't in it. The only time you ever feel any sort of happiness is when I'm in your life.

So I'm going to do you a GIGANTIC favor and get rid of her. She holds you back from happiness. She holds you back from a life devoted to me. Cutting her out of the picture makes your addiction so much easier. More money for me!