The ONLY reason you exist is to make Me richer and lavish Me in gifts while lost in a cycle of stroking away your savings! And there's NO better time of year for exactly that than Christmas time, DUH! You'll eagerly do WHATEVER it takes in an attempt to fulfill My insatiable greed! All it takes is ONE glimpse at My bouncing ass, and suddenly you'll find yourself fucking that send button for Me OVER and OVER again...