They say that the the way to a man's heart is through is stomach. That's why I decided to create Cum Kitchen -- a series focused on food! Today, you'll start out by receiving a strict diet from me: cheap ramen, 5 dollar pizza, and canned meat. I want you to eat this food to ensure that you stay dumb and docile at all times. Soon, you won't be able to look at a bowl of soup without thinking about me. Let's get to cooking!