"We're gathered here to laugh at the ugly lonely loser who has passed on to loser purgatory." Hahah you think that's not how it's going to go at your funeral loser? Of course it will and I' going to make sure of it. I'm giving you a dose of your eulogy in advance. So you can hear all about how much you suck while you're alive and kickin. Break out the tissues loser boy, you're going to need them hahahaha