Ugly. Useless. Beta. Vile personality. No sexual prowess. A vile bottom feeder. More of a creature than a human being. Undateable. Unfuckable. A virgin. A reject. Not much of a resumé, is it? And yet, if you were to fill out your dating profile honestly, that's how it would read. Although you COULD add one more thing... You could add that it makes your dick hard when women like Me tell you how pathetic you are. That'll keep the women swiping right, won't it...

So what good are you? To anyone? Not much, that's for sure. But luckily for you, Goddess Penelope has your back. You don't... Show more