I'm so glad you took the time to see Me today! I've reviewed your case file and your situation is quite dire. Yes, you're a compulsive masturbator--a loser, who spends all his time and money online just for the chance to jerk off to hot girls that will never give you the time of day. At this point, I find you a menace to society and there's really only one solution. Have you heard of castration? You have and you don't like the idea? Too bad... I have the power to court order your castration--like I said you're a menace to yourself and to society. Now let me explain how this will all work... An...

I'm so glad you took the time to see Me today! I've reviewed your case file and your situation is quite dire. Yes, you're a compulsive masturbator--a loser, who spends all his time and money online just for the chance to jerk off to hot girls that will never give you the time of day. At this point, I find you a menace to society and there's really only one solution. Have you heard of castration? You have and you don't like the idea? Too bad... I have the power to court order your castration--like I said you're a menace to yourself and to society. Now let me explain how this will all work... And trust Me, I'm an expert.