GOLLY it must be terrible to be a virgin loser for the Circus! Masturbating to me is the very height of your "sex life," and you can't even jerk off today! Shucks, buddy! You better grab a big, fluffy pillow and make do. Wrangle that poofy ol' thing down and show it who's boss! HUMP IT! PUMP YOUR DICK INTO THAT FLUFFY PILLOW! I'll even let you pretend its ME. Luckily for you, it really is just a pillow, and it can't tell you how BAD IN BED YOU REALLY ARE! LOL, keep humping pumping humping pumping, buddy!