We all drew straws to lead this intervention with you. You're a hopeless pathetic man and no woman wants you. Especially to have sex with you. You're ugly, short, bald, small cocked and poor. I'll explain why these are the reasons you will never get laid. But it's not just women who feel this way. Your male friends don't want you around because you are not a wingman. You scare all the beautiful women away. There is one thing that you would be perfect for: a gargoyle.