After hanging out at your house, I realize my phone has no battery and I need to call an Uber. You let me use your phone but forget to close out the photos app - which was the first thing to pop up on the screen.

"WOAH? This is gay porn.. No, wait... This is you wearing panties and jerking off like a faggot!"

You look so embarrassed that I just found out you're a slut, but mostly, you look SCARED that I'm going to tell everyone all about the gay porn I found on your phone. Oh? You want me to keep this a secret? You'll have to pay Me to do that.