Returning home for the evening, you look a little surprised to see me, I am going to guess that your wife did not tell you to expect a visitor tonight.
I work in conjunction with a private investigation company and I can only imagine she has found out something she is not happy with, for her to hire me you must have been a very naughty man indeed...
You're probably not familiar with my job title, penectrix, but let me assure you, it's a word you will not forget after this.