Imagine being such a failure in a world made to practically guarantee your success that you subscribe yourself to Alpha Male gurus online. IMAGINE.

Are you living in the Matrix, then? Is that why you suck so bad? It's not your fault then?

Hahaha. Ha. Hahahahaha.

Weak. But that's why you're here isn't it. So I can relish your suffering. Your failure. Your humiliation. You had one job (be a man!) and you can't even do it. This is fun for me. Come here. Watch this clip.