Happy Valentines Day Loser. Another year alone huh? Have you EVER had a Valentine? Didn't think so.

You see this lollipop right here? It came attached to a wad of cash that one of my many suitors gifted me on this lovely holiday. I know you wouldn't know anything about that, since no one wants to be your Valentine.

This lollipop is delicious though! I can't get enough of it. I bet no woman has ever said that about you. Come to think of it, this lollipop is probably getting more action than you ever had. Tha'ts just fucking sad isn't it? A piece of heart shaped candy is get... Show more