All you're good for is cleaning up the mud from the soles of my leather boots. Admit it, you're pathetic enough to be desperate to do it. Your mouth is aching to be around my heels.

I expect them cleaned properly. I'll be inspecting them when you're done and don't even think of disappointing me. I have particularly high standards when it comes to my footwear, and these knee high leather boots will be glistening again. Do I make myself clear?

Get on your knees and begin.