Happy Independence Day, fuckwads. As we get ready to celebrate the 4th of July, it’ll be red and white booty shorts for me, and blue balls for you. Get down on your knees, you worthless beta whore, this is what you deserve. You’re not a real man and you don’t have a cock. You have an inferior yankee doodle in between your legs. So this weekend, instead of going out and having fun, you’ll be sitting in front of your computer, stroking and sobbing, for me.

Kisses!