This Valentines Day, among all the love, the hearts, roses and romance enjoyed by other people, I want to make it perfectly clear to you why you are alone. You pathetic, insignificant, hand-humping, beta bitch, let me count the ways that you are so not boyfriend material, husband or lover material. Let me make it clear and list all the reasons why you are destined to be alone and why you are so not Valentines material.