Home from a long 10 mile brisk walk, I come in and dig a big wedgie out of my butt. I slide my sneakers on the back of my legs because my feet are itching like crazy. I sit down to relax and take of one of my sneakers. My feet are so sweaty that I could hear them sloshing around within the first mile of my walk! I take a sniff of sneaker and almost gag! They smell like frito foot! I'm all too familiar with this fermented smell. My sneakers are drenched and stinking up my entire house. Ugh! I hope I don't have athlete's foot...AGAIN?! I bet I caught it from those stupid girls from the gym w...

Home from a long 10 mile brisk walk, I come in and dig a big wedgie out of my butt. I slide my sneakers on the back of my legs because my feet are itching like crazy. I sit down to relax and take of one of my sneakers. My feet are so sweaty that I could hear them sloshing around within the first mile of my walk! I take a sniff of sneaker and almost gag! They smell like frito foot! I'm all too familiar with this fermented smell. My sneakers are drenched and stinking up my entire house. Ugh! I hope I don't have athlete's foot...AGAIN?! I bet I caught it from those stupid girls from the gym who walk around barefoot. I can't stop itching my feet and in between my toes! Scratching in agony, I catch you starting at me sitting there. What are you staring at anyways? Me scratching my feet on my other sneaker? If you're going to sit there and stare, why don't you come on in closer and smell my size 9 sweaty, drenched feet and socks! I'll even allow you to smell the insides of my stanky sneakers. Come on in close so I can smother your face with my scrunched up toes all over your face. I pry off my other sneaker and out comes that damp, moldy basement smell. Are they sweaty enough for you? Let me get this smell all over your face for you! OMG they itch SO bad, especially in between my toes. I can dig my nails into the blisters hard enough. I'm so miserable, yet, you seem to be intrigued. I deal with this every day. At work, working out, it doesn't matter. I'm 100% certain this is athletes foot. The red, burning blisters, and this smell, is a tell tale sign. You want to see my bare feet? I'll take off my socks for you so you can get my toe cheese and dampness directly on your face. Just look at these filthy nasty socks! They do make for a great scratching tool to floss in between each toe! I have been wearing these socks for at least 7 days straight. That surely doesn't help my "problem" I dangle my funky wet socks in front of your face, then floss them between my toes even more, making sure to really slather them with my funky athletes foot fungus! Here! I'm done with these socks! I'm gifting them to YOU! But I warned you! They are FULL of fungus and funk!