You're not going to be entirely alone this holiday season. I know you're lonely and depressed at how pathetic your life is. You don't have to be completely isolated during these cold, unforgiving months. You have me. Me, and the bottle you use to numb your pain. Get plastered with me. Christmas is so painful for you. You're surrounded by happiness, cheer, and warmth... for everyone but you. Use that rejection as motivation and obliterate yourself for me. Glug it down. Bigger and bigger mouthfuls. Indulge while you bask in the warmth of my power and beauty.