Have you ever heard of the story Goldilocks and the Three Bears? Well this is a different kind of story. Have you seen dick ratings before? Do you want me to rate your dick? Well, consider me your Goldilocks of Dicks. Listen while I tell you all about the size and shapes that matter to me about penises. If they’re too small, you could be a female. Even if they’re too big, they’re not right for me. But don’t think average dicks are any better. I am picky as fuck when it comes to cocks. How does yours compare?

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