Trying out some self-improvement in 2020? Why even bother, loser? You could kick your bad habits, go to the gym every day, get a better job, make more money... and you'd still be a total fucking loser. There's no need to waste your time and effort on something pointless like meal planning or running on a treadmill when you'd be better off worshipping Me. Forget your dumb resolutions and Serve Goddess Nixon instead.

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