How can you be so messy? Don't give me that lopsided grin. You did this, these are your beard trimmings all over the sink and floor! Sometimes I think that you do this on purpose just so, you can watch me clean. Don't bother denying it. I've seen you watching me from across the hall. I know that you love the way my enormous body barely fits into our tiny bathroom. Jiggling whenever I make the slightest movement. Getting all hot and sweaty from exertion.

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