You have been seeing a psychologist to deal with your hypochondriac tendencies. After so much hard work on your part, you are feeling a difference, and the psychologist remarks on the progress you've made in not obsessing over every little health worry. However, she makes an offhand remark on microplastics, which sends you spiralling.

You haven't heard about the dangers of microplastics? Your psychologist explains that they are indeed something to be concerned about, especially considering how concentrated the levels of plastics are now found in testicles. Yes! Your balls are full ...

You have been seeing a psychologist to deal with your hypochondriac tendencies. After so much hard work on your part, you are feeling a difference, and the psychologist remarks on the progress you've made in not obsessing over every little health worry. However, she makes an offhand remark on microplastics, which sends you spiralling.

You haven't heard about the dangers of microplastics? Your psychologist explains that they are indeed something to be concerned about, especially considering how concentrated the levels of plastics are now found in testicles. Yes! Your balls are full of them, and they will cause serious complications if you don't act soon!

This is not like all the other times, this is a genuine threat to your health. Do you want to get rid of them? That's a great idea. She offers to help you castrate yourself, right there in her office. The quicker you act, the more likely you are to save yourself!

Gender neutral language.