I know how hard Mondays are for you. How the whole week stretches ahead of you, and what for? Your life seemingly has no meaning or purpose. People always talk about their Monday motivation, so I'm going to motivate you. I'm going to make sure you think about me the whole week at work, I'm going to be sure that you sneak into the bathroom to touch yourself while you surf my videos and pics, and I'm going to make sure that you have a REASON for dragging your pathetic ass out of bed every day for work this week. I am your Monday motivation. I AM your sex life.