You get home to find me all dolled up, wearing silk lingerie, with a bunch of random stuff on the bed—or so you think. I explain to you that this isn’t just a hodgepodge of junk; it’s everything that I’ll need to ensure that you wet the bed uncontrollably. I start baby talking to you as I outline my plan, from the sports drink to the restraints . I’ve even found an extra thick overnight diaper for you! In fact, I can’t see any reason why we shouldn’t put this diaper on you right away. Aren’t you excited to be Step-Mommy’s little bedwetter ?

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